Eternal Apprentice

I followed a link in my RSS reader from Viviane’s lovely Sex Carnival tonight. It was a post of an article from Newsweek about polyamory.

By Jessica Bennett

Terisa Greenan and her boyfriend, Matt, are enjoying a rare day of Seattle sun, sharing a beet carpaccio on the patio of a local restaurant. Matt holds Terisa’s hand, as his 6-year-old son squeezes in between the couple to give Terisa a kiss. His mother, Vera, looks over and smiles; she’s there with her boyfriend, Larry. Suddenly it starts to rain, and the group must move inside. In the process, they rearrange themselves: Matt’s hand touches Vera’s leg. Terisa gives Larry a kiss. The child, seemingly unconcerned, puts his arms around his mother and digs into his meal.

Terisa and Matt and Vera and Larry—along with Scott, who’s also at this dinner—are not swingers, per se; they aren’t pursuing casual sex. Nor are they polygamists of the sort portrayed on HBO’s Big Love; they aren’t religious, and they don’t have multiple wives. But they do believe in “ethical nonmonogamy,” or engaging in loving, intimate relationships with more than one person—based upon the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. They are polyamorous, to use the term of art applied to multiple-partner families like theirs, and they wouldn’t want to live any other way.

Terisa, 41, is at the center of this particular polyamorous cluster. A filmmaker and actress, she is well-spoken, slender and attractive, with dark, shoulder-length hair, porcelain skin—and a powerful need for attention. Twelve years ago, she started datingScott, a writer and classical-album merchant. A couple years later, Scott introduced her to Larry, a software developer at Microsoft, and the two quickly fell in love, with Scott’s assent. The three have been living together for a decade now, but continue to date others casually on the side. Recently, Terisa decided to add Matt, a London transplant to Seattle, to the mix. Matt’s wife, Vera, was OK with that; soon, she was dating Terisa’s husband, Larry. If Scott starts feeling neglected, he can call the woman he’s been dating casually on the side. Everyone in this group is heterosexual, and they insist they never sleep with more than one person at a time.

Link to the full article on Newsweek

While this article is good in several respects, it really bothers me that it ends with, “Everyone in this group is heterosexual, and they insist they never sleep with more than one person at a time.”

Okay, I could take this as a simple statement of fact. If the group was trying to get this across in the way it came across in the article, fantastic (okay, not fantastic and still scary). However, I worry that the author is attempting to put a pretty bow on this not-culturally-friendly situation. Is she pandering to a mostly monogamous, heterosexual America?

Regardless, it was a “What the fuck!?” moment for me. I had just read an article about polyamory, a major part of my life which is sadly underrepresented in media, that I was pretty happy with, up until that last line.

As with “Big Love” and every other recent portrayal of polyamory/polyfidelity/polygamy I’ve seen, this one leaves something out. I’m going to give it some thought and really try to put my finger on it over the next few weeks.

Let me know if I’m being nit-picky in the comments.

I’ve been taking some time and quietude from the blog front recently, even though we’ve been to two fantastic cons since I last updated, and I have more than a few interesting stories to tell.

There is a good bit of IRL drama going on here, and that is what I plan to continue to commit myself to working on over the blog right now. I love Ellie deeply, and need to be with her throughout this time. I’ll post again with more information relatively soon.

Thanks for all the kind thoughts and wishes.

The question that has been on the minds of the four of us (Ellie, Ariel, Michael, and I) recently is Polyfidelity vs. Polyamory. Surprisingly, I’m the only one in our quad who isn’t in favor of polyfidelity right now.

I stand accused of wanting meaningless sex with women, but the fact of the matter is that I’ve never had meaningless sex with anyone. I’m very invested in an individual by the time sex is on the table (in the car, on the floor, or even *gasp* in a bed). I find that no matter how much passion there is, I still have the desire and ability to forge a friendship before the relationship becomes sexual.

I am a friendly and easy-going guy however, and it’s easy for me to make friends and find new partners. I can understand that this is a problem for my current partners, because I am open to so many other potential relationships.

I’m so wholly in-love and happy with Ellie, Ariel, and Michael. I feel, because of the nature of our relationship (mostly the distance between he two couples), I do not have enough time to forge the relationship with Michael that I want. At this point I know that we are all happy (edit - Michael told me in a chat after I published this that he is not happy), and I no longer feel the need to rush that part of our group relationship. When the time is right we will find the time to get closer to each other. I also never have enough time with Ariel, but that is the nature of the long-distance relationship. We make the most of the time we are together in the best way we know how.

—
Funny side-note before I close my rant: As Ellie and I perused Target the other day we scoffed at Valentines Day cards, “so hetero-normative and monogamy-centric”. I picked up a card and covered up the word “one”. I read it aloud with a minor alteration so it better suited Ellie’s take on our current situation, “You are my *three* and only.”
—

Ellie said that I date other women for the same reason that I enjoy fast food; it’s a quick fix, instant gratification. I can see where that idea comes from, but it makes me wonder, what’s in it for the people I’m with? Are they the burger or the food-preparation specialist, or does the analogy break down at the point that you consider them?

I think that they are getting something important too. It’s not a self-centered endeavor on my part. A lot the pleasure I get comes from pleasing my partner or fulfilling some desire. I know that I’m enriching their lives, and they are enriching mine.

The biggest thing that my other partners can lose is time they want to spend with me. I’m cognizant of this fact, and do my best to give my primary partners far more of my time and energy.

Polyfidelity is as big of a step for me as monogamy would be at this point. I’m committed to my current partners, but I am not sure I’m ready to give up future partners, even if they don’t have a place in my poly-quad family.

There is an awesome thing going on in our lives that we haven’t been able to string more than three words together about since it started.

Ariel and Michael.

*le sigh*

They offered us a place to stay when we came to their town for a convention. The short version of the story is that we only made it to one day of the con. We were cuddling, playing, exploring, and fucking all weekend and we couldn’t care less about the rest of the world.

By the time we left their house at the end of the weekend gas prices had dropped outside by quite a lot. We took this as a good omen since we planned on spending a lot of money on gas to come see them over and over again.

Last weekend was the third trip out to see them, and an impromptu one. We have been falling for them hard and fast and we couldn’t bear missing them any longer, so we cut out of some of our piddling responsibilities mid-week and went to spend the extended weekend with them.

It’s a strange, wonderful dynamic that has formed around the couples. Ellie and I met them as a well formed couple of three years, and their relationship is similar to ours. As we’ve got to know each other better we’ve seen that there are interesting sexual cross-attractions. All of us are in love with each other, so that’s a good first step.

Michael and I have a very special, exploratory sexual relationship. We are testing new boundaries and limits and exploring anal play. I’m really enjoying the sounds he makes when he experiences something new.

That’s not to say he hasn’t taught both of us a good bit. On our first weekend he showed us their Violet Wand (which we are now very much in love with as well). He started by giving me an electrical massage, and then some stronger sensation play with some of the lovely attachments. The ladies looked on through the blacklit room and played with each other while he worked on me.

Ariel and I had been talking online for several months and had already started to develop a pretty strong friendship. When we met we were quickly able to incorporate that friendship into the relationship that we were building. Every time we saw Ellie and Michael play we’d look at each other and giggle, it made us so happy to see them developing that bond.

The concept of a four-way relationship was not entirely foreign to any of us. Ellie and I have talked about how we feel that no one person can be everything to everyone, especially with responsibilities and constraints on their time. My fantasy has been to live in a multi-partner household where everyone is on equal footing (i.e. no 24/7 D/s or M/s dynamic). This relationship gives me hope that my dream family can exist and prosper.

—

Ellie and I have synthesized down a couple rules of poly dating from all the workshops we’ve been to in the last couple years which I’d love to share:

“Never stick your dick in a crazy”

This, to me, is short for “Don’t get involved with a potential partner until you know them well enough to tell if they are crazy or not”. This is really fantastic advice for anyone with or without the requisite genitalia. Check potential partners for crazy before getting sexually involved with them. I know it can be tough to spot at first, but once you’ve seen a few examples of “crazy” you start to be able to spot it pretty easily.

Avoid, “Relationship is broken, add more people” mentality.

Make sure the relationship you are in is sound before you go looking for partners. I know how strong the urge can be to add to a relationship that is having problems. For some strange reason it is a natural response for most people to try to sabotage their relationships by bringing in a new partner. Ariel and Michael sat us down and talked about their relationship history and made us aware that they were in a good place to start a relationship with us.

“Slow the fuck down”

New relationship energy tends to make things happen very, very fast. Although it’s fun to do impulsive things with your new loves, recognizing that you have responsibilities is a major factor. At least for me with an addictive personality, I have to hold myself back at times. Ellie and I have this in common, and I’m pretty sure Ariel is the same way as well. So restraint has been the key order of the day many, many times so far, but it’s working out fantastically.

—

To paraphrase The Magnetic Fields, “We’re so in love with you both, it’s like we’re on the moon, we can hardly breathe, but we feel lighter.”

..That reminds me that I need to post about breath play. I guess I’ll save that for next time.

I don’t do memes.. generally. But since I was tagged by Jack, who I want to forge a friendship with (get in line, buddy), I figured this would give me a chance to let him know just how similar I think we are.

His 7 Facts:

1. I like all kinds of girls. I have found that this is often hard for girls to understand. I like big girls and little girls, so when I was dating a relatively skinny girl and she found out I had some chubby girl porn on my computer she though “I must be fat, that’s why you like me!” and when I was dating a chubby girl and commented on a tiny girl being hot she said “If you like girls like that, why are you dating me?”. Also I have been with girls as tall as 6′ and as short as 4′11″. Even my constant of “glasses and big tits” hasn’t held up lately.
2. I have no piercing or tattoos. I dated someone for a long time who was covered in tattoos (10!) and I really love the look of thick black and red ink on skin. I have a few tattoos I want to get, but I am waiting until I am sure (i.e. it has been about 5 years of me thinking about it and I still haven’t done it.)
3. People seem to inherently trust me. If often makes me feel like I need to be extra careful. People are constantly telling me secrets. I kind of love being the keeper of secrets.
4. I had a criminal youth. I was a compulsive liar as a kid. My head still thinks like that sometimes, but I keep it very much under control. I try to be almost annoyingly honest now. Truth still has a ring of novelty on my tongue.
5. The thing I hate most in life is probably corporate chain restaurants.
6. Almost all of my close friends are working on Masters or PhDs and are on some form of psycho-pharmacology. I will probably never go for any sort of higher degree and I’ve never been in therapy.
7. I took ballet as a child, as well as tap dancing.

Now… strike the “criminal youth”, change ballet & tap dancing to clogging, and strike #6 but keep the rest, and those facts all fit me too.

—

Here are the rules:

* Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
* Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog - some random, some weird.
* Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.
* Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

My 7 Facts:

1. When I was a child my fantasy future was to live in a big house with several other loving men and women all sharing responsibilities and partners.
2. My sister (almost 3 years younger than me) and I wrestled constantly, and until I was 15 she almost always won.
3. While I was in an open relationship with my High School beau (and considered myself gay), I realized that most of my reasons for being involved in a homosexual relationship were “daddy worship” issues. Once I started working on those my attraction to men diminished but did not disappear. Now I’m quite picky and shy when it comes to datable guys.
4. “Jay” is only a facet of my personality, I’m quite a bit more shy than I come across to most people through my blog. I think people also assume that I’ve had quite a few sexual partners because I write so openly about sex. However, like Ellie, I was a late bloomer. I had only 4 sex partners until 2 years ago. While I ‘play’ with a decent number of people in a BDSM context and love to make-out, there isn’t a gratuitous amount of sex outside of my relationship with Ellie.
5. I have a whole box of things that Ellie loves about me, and I look inside of it all the time.
6. I’m a pretty big nerd, and I have about the dorkiest sense of humor. My step-dad infected me with his love of puns. Luckily, the people I tend to have a good connection with can tolerate my turbopuns.
7. In Middle School I got first place in a karate tournament. I was pretty proud of my Shorei Goju Ryu skillz :)

I tag:

1. Sexual Adventurer because she needs another thing to have no time to write about.
2. I need to find out more about StacyCat69 since she’s going to be staying with us for a few days, soon.
3. Wendy, because her smile and her colorful giant cock turn me on.
4. Bear because everything that comes out of his mouth is gold. (I wonder what will happen when/if I ever kiss him?)
5. Ellie, I love that girl.
6. My favorite Naughty Kitty, because with this kitty the only thing you can expect is that it will be smokin’.
7. Lastly and randomly, Bob, because really, Who Doesn’t Like Big Wet Boobs?

Apologies first. It took me a lot longer than I thought it would to start writing this second post. I’d say it won’t happen again, but I’d be lying. Since I’m not wearing pants I don’t think I want to know what would be on fire if I lied right now.

I’m going to break it down to a couple of my camp crushes.

Lia - I already mentioned her smile. Gorgeous. Her voice was like a tiny crystal bell. But I’d bet anything that when she’s feeling toppy she’s a real firecracker. I wanted to get to know her a lot better, but seeing her shyness made me shy too for some odd reason (in addition to being a huge turn-on). She was in a really interesting family situation at camp, and although I was fascinated by it I couldn’t bring myself to ask her about it to find out if it would be okay to play with her.

Stars - We met for the first time at the Harry Potter meet-up (if that gives you any idea of what kind of nerds we are). After that we bonded with pool-noodle combat. Fun times. I wanted to take her every way possible, but again my shyness got ahold of me. I was just so happy to be making a physical connection with her, wrestling and thrashing around in the water. We’ve made some tentative plans to see each other in a couple of months. Too bad by the time we meet again it’ll be too cold for outdoor sex.

Nina - I met Nina, Duckie, and Pete at the pool by random chance. I had been enjoying hanging out in this giant floating green raft all weekend, and when I found it this day Duckie and Nina were already in it. I asked permission to board their vessel (like a pirate if my memory serves me). Nina looked amazing. She had bright red hair dye running out of her hair and into the raft. It looked like someone failed to decapitate her, but only by a little. More dye was streaming from her head every time Pete would squirt her from poolside with his super soaker. I couldn’t think of anything to say so I just relaxed and enjoyed watching her bounce around to avoid his random blasts. I didn’t end up seeing much more of the trio that weekend, but I did manage to meet both Nina and Duckie again last weekend. We had a blast hanging out together. I’ll save the goings-on of that weekend for a future post.

WildPoni - This is the first person I met when Ellie and I arrived at camp. From the first time I saw her I knew that we had a connection, but I thought it was just my general excitement over camp and let it pass the first few times I saw her. On Sunday night, however, Ellie and I headed over to a social event called “Cigars and Chocolate”. She arrived a few minutes later, and I was immediately drawn to her. Not just because she was wearing only leather shorts and a leather strap under her bare breasts, but because I felt like serving her. What better place than a chocolate tasting to serve a woman. I fed her chocolate after chocolate and tried to be as charming as I could. We found one chocolate that I hadn’t tried yet. After she had a bit she offered me the other half from her lips. I took it greedily. The next chocolate brought our lips together, and the third ended in a passionate kiss. I wanted to get down on my knees and worship her body, so I did, a little. But I want to do it again, better.

Drew, Bear, Pink Pet, Tatsumi, Elle Emenope, Den, Lori, Chris! - Oh my god! Too much awesome, too little time.

My entire freaking cabin full of sexy, awesome people - Wendy Blackheart, Ivy, Don, Viviane, Tilda, Subtle, Mina Meow. I want to see/kiss/fondle all of you. Soon! If not at Winter Fire then there is always next year’s Summer Camp.

The lesson I learned from Sex Camp 2008: If you aren’t sure what is permissible, just ask. Don’t be afraid of rejection. And, as Nina just pointed out to me, “The only dumb question is the one left unasked.”

Whew. Ellie and I just got back in town and I couldn’t wait a moment to tell a couple of my friends about what happened over the weekend.

Jay: I had a fun threesome last night.
Ariel: I want details.
Ariel: No
Ariel: I need details.
Jay: lol, at least you know the difference.
Jay: Well, there is a great couple that I have been talking to for quite a while now. We used to chat on webcam all the time, so we all knew each other pretty well. We were always flirty, but that was about it.
Jay: They finally had some time off this weekend and wanted to visit us at our place, but we were going to Charlotte. So they decided to come to the vendor’s fair and meet us there.
Jay: They got a really nice suite and invited us to come spend the night with them.
Jay: After a few hours of chatting and playing sex toy show and tell Ellie started getting sleepy.
Jay: There wasn’t enough room on the fold-out couch for all of us, so I joined them in their king sized bed for cuddles while Ellie got some sleep.
Jay: We all cuddled and talked for a couple of hours, and then Liz started kissing her boyfriend in a really provocative way.
Jay: She asked him if he was okay and he said yes, so she turned over and kissed me.
Ariel: P.S. Michael also says he wants to know the details ;)
Jay: lol, I guess I’ll have to make this into a post then.
Jay: She kept going back and forth between making out with him and making out with me.
Jay: After a half dozen times I realized that he and I were both slowly climbing on top of her.
Jay: So instead of kissing her I started kissing him. And, oh my god, he had the most lovely moist, soft lips.
Jay: It wasn’t too much longer until Liz had come out of all of her clothes.
Jay: We were both focused on her, but every once in a while we’d pause to make-out with each other.
Jay: She was in heaven as the two of us lavished attention on her nipples together or one of us massaged her back as the other kissed her lips.
Jay: While Alex was making out with her at one point I started fingering Liz.
Ariel: What am I doing in this line in Atlanta waiting for gas? I should be in line for that! ;)
Jay: Her juices smelled so good that I had to put my mouth on her swollen clit while I finger fucked her.
Jay: Within a few minutes she was reaching a shuddering orgasm, and then she was spent.
Jay: I had plans for Alex, though, so it wasn’t an issue.
Jay: I kissed Alex’s lips for a moment and then making my way down his body while Liz sucked my cock.
Jay: When I got down to his waist he started moaning and his cock started jumping.
Jay: Liz started kissing him and I teased his cock.
Jay: I don’t think he had ever been with a man before, but didn’t seem to have any problems kissing and touching me.
Jay: I started working some magic on his cock to try to get it as hard as I could.
Ariel: < -- still eagerly reading
Jay: I was taking his whole cock into my mouth and bouncing his balls in my left hand.
Jay: Only a short moment later I heard him whisper to Liz "This is the most awesome thing, ever."
Jay: I’m still not sure if it was my skill or the fact that he had two people’s undivided sexual attention.
Jay: I started using both hands to play with his hard cock while kissing Liz.
Jay: He reached out and started groping my cock while I jerked him to orgasm.
Jay: His come sprayed right up onto his chest and onto Lizs breasts too. I must have had the proudest smile on my face.
Jay: Liz and I went to the bathroom and cleaned off and she grabbed Alex a towel so he didn't have to get up.
Jay: Liz assured me that it was my turn next, but I shyly bowed out telling them "another time", so that I could go sleep with Ellie.
Jay: I had an amazing time.
Ariel: Wow
Ariel: Just
Ariel: Wow
Ariel: We're both all giddy after reading that.
Michael: By giddy she means we are squirming in our seats and flushed.

Liz wowed me with her communication this weekend. The way she checked in with Alex was so nice and gentle. Her voice and her moans so soft. Alex wore such an amazing expression during most of the encounter that I can’t quite describe. When either I or Liz kissed him his eyes glazed over like he was half way in a dream. The two of them had a way of making both Ellie and I feel at ease and among friends.

Sex Camp 2008, a life-affirming experience.

When Ellie and I first got started in kink and BDSM communities we were blown away by the inclusiveness and the lack of judgment that we found.

There is a natural fear of rejection that one probably feels when presenting themselves in front of the local kink group for the first time. I was lucky that the guy in charge of orientation was one of my co-workers, but I imagine that not everyone has that experience.

Dark Odyssey Summer Camp took the feeling of being a part of a big kinky family several steps further for me.

The community system was quite nice. The “pre-camp” online community is a fully functioning personals site where you can contact potential play partners and arrange tentative “dates”. I felt like I was making good use of the site even though none of the “talk” turned into “action” when we got there, it was well worth the time investment simply because I felt more comfortable when we arrived. I recognized several dozen attendees by their profile pictures alone which set me more at-ease.

—

When Ellie and I arrived we met a couple at the gates (I won’t name names, of course). Both of them were casually dressed, but I was immediately impressed by their friendliness (and the woman’s cleavage which I was lucky to see a lot more of throughout the weekend).

We set up the air mattress (kindly loaned to us by a local kink friend) and proceeded to christen the room with a delicious fuck. Having our naked cabin-mates (who we hadn’t even met by name yet) coming through the cabin to set up their spaces only turned us on more.

Walking around camp to get our bearings afterwards we checked out the dungeon/barn and the mess hall. On the way back to the cabin a man flagged us down and said, “Are you Ellie?” while walking timidly toward us.

Before Ellie could say another word he had his answer in his mind and continued, “I recognized your voice, I’m a huge fan of your podcast!” She was flattered and I’m pretty sure it was only the first of a couple dozen times she blushed that weekend.

Attending our first class I met my first Sex Camp crush. A beautiful young girl with the most precious voice told Ellie that she reads her blog after we introduced ourselves. My shyness took over, though. The entire weekend the most I could muster when I saw her was to make eye contact with her. It was worth the effort just to catch a glimpse of her pretty smile.

Shyness is nice and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You’d like to

Here’s the thing about camp. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you are in when you come to DO, you are going to have a dozen or more camp crushes. Resign yourself to it early and let the flirting begin.

Flirting was pretty much all I did, though.

My first DO was overwhelming. I wanted to go to two classes in each time slot so I had to make difficult choices about that several times a day. I chose a lot of “safe” classes, but learned a lot of really awesome stuff. Lolita Wolf’s “Kids Rule!” and Sarah Sloane’s “Service for the Novice Top” classes were great for Ellie and I. We learned a lot about ourselves and some minor hang-ups we still have about some of our play.

Bear’s “Theater Skills For Better Sex” was so much fun, and empowering. The class was only scheduled for 1.5 hours but I found myself wanting to spend the whole day talking with and learning with Bear (not to mention the making out that we had talked about on the message board).

By “safe” classes I meant only that I avoided some fire-play, new-age stuff, and hooks/needles.

Ellie and I co-topped a great guy named Neils for some light sensation play and orgasm control/denial. We feel like topping together as a couple will be a good way for us to play together and learn new skills together. Deciding on what skills we want to learn and who we want to mentor us is the hard part, though.

No regrets at all, it was the most amazing time.

—

But wait, there’s more!

I have a ton of school work to finish up, so I’m posting this part now to get it out of my head. Expect part 2 before the weekend!

Thanks to Gabe for the title inspiration.

The month we were waiting for Hania to return passed by rather quickly considering how much we missed her. We had an amazing demo and party in Charlotte that helped keep us busy, though :)

We made plans with Hania via Facebook before she was even back in town. It was wonderful to know that she was still as interested in seeing us as we were. We invited Hania for dinner, but for the life of me I can’t remember what we ate.

My memories of the evening pick up around 1am. After the futon bed in the living room finally collapsed we retired to our bedroom, the only other cool room in the house. We all laid around on our king-sized bed in various configurations. Ellie and Hania were looking up celebrities and commenting on how pretty they were. The first one I could agree with them on was Salma Hayek.

Somehow they managed to talk me out of my pants without seeming overtly sexual. Then, Ellie and Hania started playing with each other’s hair. I knew that if they had any feelings for each other it was going to all come out right then. Shortly later Hania complimented Ellie’s breasts, then asked if she could touch them.

Hania stroked Ellie’s breasts for several moments before leaning over and taking Ellie’s pert nipple into her mouth and sucking gently. A moment later the sucking turned into biting and Ellie was moaning and gasping in ecstasy.

I didn’t want to interfere. Hania had never had a MFF threesome before, and had talked about her how her sexual experiences with women had been completely different than those she had with men. I leaned back and watched them play, giggle, touch, and explore.

Hania motioned for me to help her out of her top, then her bra. Her breasts, while smaller than Ellie’s, were very large for Hania’s small frame and quite perky. The dark almond colored areolas that we thought we saw the month before were even more sexy than Ellie and I had imagined (trust me, we spent a few nights in bed talking about Hania’s lovely body).

Ellie laid down on her back and Hania straddled her playing with her breasts. They rubbed their bodies together, kissed, sucked, and licked for almost an hour before Hania started pulling Ellie’s panties off.

I wish I had a better vantage point so I could give a play-by-play. The only thing I can say for sure is that the three of us all seemed to be enjoying ourselves. Hania’s slurping and kissing, Ellie’s moans, and my angelic expression probably express the feelings of the moment better than a verbose description could.

Ellie took charge after Hania had been pleasing her for a while and flipped the scenario. After teasing Hania’s breasts for a while Ellie went down on Hania. When they changed positions next I took advantage of my angle and started licking Hania’s soaking pussy while I fucked Ellie.

Every time I looked up Hania would be staring me right in the eyes telling me without words that she was excited by watching me fuck Ellie. Every time I entered Ellie deeply Hania’s eyes would find me, and she would noiselessly growl at me in the sexiest way.

—

We all collapsed to the bed at some point. I got up to get a drink of water for everyone, and by the time I got back Ellie was all but asleep.

Hania and I talked for a couple of hours, kissed, and talked some more. It was obvious that she was far from finished with both of us, and she wasn’t going anywhere. We all slept cuddled up together, cozy in the big bed.

And a couple of days later we did it again. And we might do it again tonight too.

So I guess maybe I should change the title of this post to “Sometimes lightning keeps on striking”

Extra bonus.. if you scroll down to the previous post you’ll find that it was edited to include a pic of Hania in Ellie’s lovely harness.

Ellie came back from class one day this summer and commented that there was a girl in her class she *knew* I would adore. She told me about Hania, a foreign student studying Linguistics. She’s strong willed, in-charge, passionate, beautiful, and amazingly intelligent.

Several days later Ellie organized an impromptu study session with Hania and a few other girls from class. I retired to my office as they arrived, knowing they had a lot of work ahead of them.

Hania’s voice echoed through the house as soon as she saw our cats. She bounded up the stairs and scooped a cat into her arms. She cuddled our little tabby prince and called him names that sounded both Russian and Middle Eastern at the same time. He was frightened, but calmed as she touched him.

Once the ladies were seated I exited the office and introduced myself. Hania was more magnificently beautiful than I imagined. She had lovely smooth medium olive skin, hair black as night, and large brown eyes. She smiled and greeted me warmly as I shook her hand.

I asked the girls if I could bring any of them a drink. They declined so I returned to the office.

I honestly tried to do my school work, but Hania’s voice was so lovely and distracting that I just sat mesmerized in front of my computer for more than an hour.

When they were done for the evening they made a second date to finish their assignment together. I bid them all goodnight while looking over Hania’s gorgeous body. She’s a lot smaller than the girls that I’m generally attracted to, but has lovely curves where it matters most. I touched her hand again as I said goodbye. Goosebumps crawled up from where we touched and flowered all over my body.

Once they were outside Ellie remarked, “What did I tell you?” “Wow! Just wow.” I said as I hopped up the stairs to kiss her.

—

I connected with Hania on facebook just before they arrived. She had written me a message in Arabic that I translated (isn’t Google great). Once they settled in again at their computers for study time I came out and gave Hania a hug thanking her for translating my name into Arabic. I wrote it myself to show her. She made some minor corrections and gave me that lovely, warm smile again.

I was hooked. I wanted to serve her, do anything she wanted, just to be close to her, but I was trying to be cool and a little mysterious. I thanked her again and headed back into my office.

I listened intently to their conversation as it turned away slowly from linguistics to travel, and then to sex momentarily. Hania confided in Ellie that she had done phone sex work while she was in London a few years ago. Ellie and Hania instantly bonded. The conversation may have been making one of the other students a bit uncomfortable, though, because the topic changed rather quickly.

Before they left we invited them all to a dinner party we were hosting the following Friday. They accepted. Ellie and I were overjoyed.

Later that night I got a follow-up message on facebook that called me (and my cat) stunning.

—

A few guest were already here by the time Hania and another classmate arrived. Hania was wearing a pair of tight blue jeans and an amazing low-cut frilly top. Her breasts were literally spilling out all night. I was in heaven.

We ate, played Rock Band, and talked. Hania was the center of attention. One of my bisexual girlfriends commented to me in private that she was smitten with Hania after only talking for a few minutes with her.

Then disaster struck, the classmate that Hania rode in with had to leave the party early. Everyone, all at once, offered to take Hania home later (not knowing where she lived) if she wanted to stay. Luckily she stayed.

We laid around the living room, only four of us left around 11pm, talking about relationships and sex. Eventually the last guest aside from Hania left. We asked Hania if she wanted us to take her home, but she said she’d love to stay a while longer.

We talked and talked and lost track of time a little. At one point in a sleepy conversation Hania blurted, “I love threesomes”. She proceeded to tell us about her some of her favorite past sexual experiences.

Whenever our cuddly cat made his way between Hania and I we used it as an excuse to cuddle closer together. We were half petting the cat and half petting each other.

Around 3am we offered Hania our guest room. Ellie was nearly asleep at this point, so we showed Hania to her bed and hugged her good night.

—

The next morning Ellie made breakfast and we all took turns showering. Hania looked amazing even without makeup. We revisited our short conversation from the previous night about rope bondage, and took her back to our guest room to show her our rope collection.

Ellie told Hania the she had been thinking about tying her up. Hania agreed that it would be an interesting experience.

I stood back and watched Ellie go to work on Hania with a corset out of Lee Harrington’s “The Erotic Bondage Handbook”. It was a simple chest harness that framed Hania’s assets beautifully. Taking a page out of Artemis Hunter’s playbook Ellie proceeded to dishevel Hania’s top exposing her pink lacy bra and the topmost edge of Hania’s dark areola.

Next, I tied Ellie to the wall and Hania and I flogged her a bit. Then, Ellie put me in a lightning harness (which she loves to show off).

Things started winding down and we offered to take Hania home, she agreed that it was probably time to go.

We chatted as we drove her to her apartment, and when we arrived there Hania invited us in and offered to make lunch for us.

After (a spectacular spinach, beef, and rice) lunch she showed us some belly dancing videos, first of other famous performers, then a video that she made herself.

Hania hasn’t stopped amazing either of us for even a moment as long as we’ve known her.

—

Hania had a vacation planned, she was leaving the very next day to spend a month away. We all exchanged numbers and a promise that we would get back together as soon as she got back in town. We communicated sporadically with her while she was gone. We missed her and she missed us back. She told us that spending the night with us was like a lovely dream.

That was one month and three days ago now. The promise that we get back together when she returned has been fulfilled, but that’s a story for another post.

I’ve already shared two of the four “5 minute stories” that I wrote in Erotica Writing 101, but I skipped over two others. One was scrapped for being a poor idea. However, the other one was on the subject of the lovely lady that was sitting next to me (a.k.a. the real reason I got so shy). Over the last several weeks I’ve got to know her quite a bit better. I’ve attempted here to flesh out the modest paragraph I started the day we met.

—

She glides giddily toward the bed and bends over against it just as the hotel room door swings shut.

“You could have just told me what color they were.” I remark slyly.

She looks back at me over her shoulder and blushes.

My passion overtakes me, before she can rise I’m already beside her.

The first kiss lands softly on her neck. My hands dance across her soft shoulders and find their way into her long hair. I take a deep breath and inhale her sweet essence, smile into her deep eyes, and dive toward her lips. It satisfies me immensely to feel the goosebumps springing forth from the skin of her neck and shoulders as our lips meet.

I am overcome by the urge to explore her, from her wine-sweetened lips and tongue down to her sunkissed legs. Most of all I’m spellbound by how excited she is by my touch. I can feel her anticipation in every muscle I caress. Tightening, then slowly releasing. I want to calm, warm, and welcome her with every soothing stroke.

We contort our bodies so that our lips stay connected as we twist and recline on the bed. I close my eyes and see her the way I saw her for the first time less than a day ago.

Her long red hair was tied back. Her glasses and black skirt gave her a distinct “sexy librarian” look. When I saw her walking toward me my mind raced with things to say, but nothing came out. She began talking to me and my nervousness vanished as quickly as it appeared. We sat together and wrote together, but I found it extremely hard to concentrate on writing with this vision of beauty sitting so close to me that I could smell her.

That thought snaps me back to the present. That lovely redolence, like rose petals in a lavender bath, is strong even in this large room.

I take her glasses and mine and set them on the nightstand. I let our eyes meet again and she teases me with a kiss. I take her delicate wrist into my hand and force it onto the bed. Looking down at her body makes me marvel at the contrast from our original meeting.

Her hair is down now, flowing and airy. Her black blouse replaced by a corset cinched up so tight that I’m amazed she’s able to lay down at all without loosening or removing it.

She reaches up to kiss me and I allow her to have another taste. She tugs at my lip and squeezes it between her teeth. I break away from her lips momentarily and gaze down toward her breasts. She moves with grace and slips her free hand behind her back loosening her corset.

The corset slides down partially revealing a pinkish nipple surrounded my a mound of tempting light skin. My lips find her chin and then her neck. I’m drawn down her body by her luscious skin, but I dawdle at her neck kissing and biting. Savoring the little gasps she releases into my ear, and using them as a sort of sonar to detect just what arouses her the most.

—

Well, that’s a start. I have a feeling that I could spend a lot of time on this. But, the exciting conclusion will have to wait, for now.

Right when I was starting to think that Fetlife was a pretty awesome place the owner has come out of the closet, as a big asshole.

He asked a group on Fetlife if anyone wanted to be a “greeter” for the site. To be responsible for sending out an email or two to new users rather than a system generated message. We all know how much attention we pay to those.

Ellie, the outgoing and wonderful person she is, volunteered. The next day she received a message from the owner stating that he felt that there would be a conflict of interest between th duties of ambassador and the fact that she does phone sex. His exact phrase was “ethical dilemma”. He said that as the owner of the site he isn’t able to approach anyone on the site (??), and that if she messaged someone and they asked her to do a call with them she should turn them down.

I was reading through the (very funny) “Terms & Conditions” which has a 1% rule. According to John (the owner):

1% Of Your Action Belongs To Us

We have no clue how we are going to claim this but we want 1% of the action you are getting from this site. Yeah, you heard right. While we are working our asses off to grow FetLife you are getting action and we want 1% of it, damn it! We think it is only fair.

That could be taken any number of ways, but to me it sounds like he does want to dip into the honey pot.

Aside from all of that, he’s dealing with an active clientèle that is made up of regular users (with affiliate links right in their profiles), bloggers (with affiliate links on their linked pages), sex workers (pro doms, phone sex workers), and podcasters. The vast percentage of these users make *some* money by doing what they do. Isn’t it the dream of everyone to make money off of what they love? Is this akin to shitting where to live? No.

Does he think that Ellie is a predator, and that her only aim in an online community is to drag customers from it? Does he think that about everyone on the site, or just PSOs (phone sex operators) because he assumes that a PSO doesn’t enjoy her job or only does it for the money?

The fact is that Fetlife is a really good site right now. Most of the people on there are very friendly and open. We’re having good conversations and learning a lot about alternative lifestyles. Hopefully this was a case of him hitting send before thoroughly reading what he had written, and we can move forward from this having all gained a little knowledge from one another.

edit - Ellie received another email stating that the owner of the site had sent out similar requests/questions to other potential ambassadors. He also apologized that his original email could easily be interpreted negatively.

The future status of the seemingly hypocritical 1% Rule is still in question, though (if only by me and the lovely ladies that commented here).

Sex 2.0 worked for me!

I learned/solidified so many ideas during Sex 2.0 this weekend.

1.) I can break out of the mold that I created for myself of *only* writing erotica.

2.) Sometimes you need someone to tell you that they like what you do to kick-start your creative juices and help you break into new territory.

3.) Ellie is the most amazing girl in the world, and I’m so lucky to be her partner.

4.) FurryGirl, despite her shyness, is as intoxicatingly intelligent as she is aesthetically pleasing.

5.) There are far more people in the world doing sex-positive work than I was previously aware.

6.) The atmosphere of sexuality at the conference and the after-party (at least among the Sex 2.0 attendees) was pleasant, fun, and relaxing.

7.) Even extremely attractive men and women (holy crap WAY too many to mention) can be fantastically accepting of people like Ellie and I with less than perfect bodies.

This conference left me with such positive feelings about the future of sexual activism and humanity in general.

Other fantastic Sex 2.0 wrap-ups:

Melissa Gira
Sakura Sarashi
Mistress Maeve
Ellie Lumpesse
Renegade Evolution
Audacia Ray
Viviane’s Sex Carnival
Amber Rhea

Phone sex is an amazing way to make friends.

I never would have believed that statement until Ellie got into it. As you are probably aware, our blogs and other exploits have helped us make a lot of friends, but you’d be very surprised just how close a threesome can feel completely over the phone.

Last night we were in our office working on our own little projects. Ellie has a “listen to me get fucked” line that she logs-in to sometimes when we are both feeling frisky.

It was quiet in the office around 10pm when the phone started ringing. Ellie jumped up and headed for the bedroom, “It’s Eric.” she called out with a bounce in her step.

I got up to follow them a moment later and found that they were engrossed in their previous internet-based conversation. I thought for a moment and decided that I wanted to spank Ellie and tie up her breasts (it had been a while). I directed her to sit in the corner faced away from me. She chatted away sitting on the bed while I opened up our drawer of toys and started to unravel a length of blue rope.

I really love to kick start their conversations right into something nasty. It’s fun for me to feel like I’m in partial control of the phone call as well as being fully in control of Ellie when she’s bound up in front of me. I bent Ellie over and pulled her pants down. She gasped into the phone and told Eric exactly what I was doing. She had no idea about the leather paddle that I snuck onto the bed along with the rope.

I pulled Ellie’s panties aside to see how wet talking to Eric had made her. To this day I’m still surprised how wet Ellie gets when she’s on the phone. I described her juicy pussy to Eric over the phone and then without warning brought the paddle down hard onto Ellie’s bare ass.

She recoiled and almost dropped the phone from the sharp smack. While she was still in shock and half-expecting another spanking I took the opportunity to throw a length of rope around her torso. She moaned and smiled sweetly to me while describing to Eric the way I was tying her up. I started with a couple of loops around Ellie’s ample chest and realized that if I kept doing that I would run out of rope too fast. After a few such loops I decided that Ellie’s panties would only be in the way, so I pushed her onto a pillow and gruffly wrestled away her pink cotton panties.

I let Ellie know that she was to keep both hands on the phone unless I gave her other instructions, and also commanded her to suck Eric’s hard cock while I finished binding her. She moaned and started sucking her fingers. Hearing Eric’s muffled moans from my place behind Ellie he could have been 500 miles away or in the same room.

With Ellie’s panties off I was free to finish my rope-work. Making a loop from her chest to her wet pussy and back up to a knot I left in the center of her back I felt like I would have ample leverage from my vantage point behind her.

I had Ellie play with her wet pussy so that she would have something sweet to suck on while she made her noises for Eric. After she finished lubricating her fingers with her juices and the rope was pulled aside I went straight for her hot wet slit. She was so engrossed she didn’t even hear my clothes hit the floor. My cock was standing at full attention, and her pussy completely soaked with glistening come. I plunged my member into her from behind and slid right in up to the hilt. She half-shrieked into the phone and lifted her ass into the air. She knows exactly what angle gets both of us off the best, and went straight for it.

Since Eric was missing out on the view from the back I grabbed a cell phone and snapped a dozen pictures while I rammed Ellie’s spasming pussy. Ellie was begging Eric to come at this point so that I would let her. Amazingly, the intensity of the situation got the better of me and I pulled out spraying my load on the rope on Ellie’s back.

I snuck out of the room for a moment and listened to the two of them moaning at each other. My erection still jumping at every vocalization coming from the bedroom. By the time I returned Ellie was breathing deeply having fingered herself to a beautiful orgasm. I wish I could have seen the state that ecstasy left Eric in at that moment.

—

Okay! Sex 2.0 is coming up very, very soon and I’m so excited to finally be able to show my face in public as a “sex blogger” and meet some lovely like minded people.

Click the badge below (courtesy of Amber Rhea) to check out the event.

Those words really rang true to me when I first met Ellie almost 2 years ago. As time has passed both of us have gained deeper understandings of ourselves while exploring each other. I think we’ve rubbed on each other so much that we’re rubbing off on each other as well.

These pics were taken over a year ago now by one of our very talented friends. It’s hard to believe that they have been sitting on our computers for so long when everyone involved is so proud of them.

As Ellie commented, we are now graced with the presence of Sylvia in our household.

Ellie’s been trying to bed Noah since she met him, and we’ve both wanted to go round 2 with Sylvia for a long time as well.

The night started much more innocently though.

—

Ellie was talking to a girlfriend online about feeling that her flirtation with Noah would soon be culminating in an intense make-out session. She mentioned jokingly that it would make things easier if I was out of the house. That must have been good news to her friend, as she asked for my screenname to IM me and ask me out.

I was interested in her since I met her a few weeks ago, and getting out of the house after a hard week of work sounded great. We decided to meet at her place for a movie. We were going to camp out on the floor, so I brought a couple of body pillows and drinks.

We popped in a comedy, and within minutes I had stopped paying perfect attention to the movie and was caressing her arm. Moments later we were holding hands. During a high point in the movie I leaned over and kissed her on her lips.

The movie ended but neither of us felt like calling it a night, luckily I brought a few extra movies. We got drinks and put in a second movie, at this point I think both of us hoped we wouldn’t be seeing much of it.

She wrapped a blanket around us and she placed her warm hand on my leg as we lay on the soft floor. She looked amazing in the dim light and I wanted to feel her soft lips on mine again. I reached around her and cradled her neck as we kissed passionately. In seemingly no time at all, the movie was over and we couldn’t tear ourselves away from the intense kisses.

It was nearly 4:00am when Ellie called me to let me know that she had received some bad news that put a damper on her night with Noah. I told her I’d be back home soon.

By 4:30 I was back at home and found that Ellie, Sylvia, and Noah were back in good spirits. Ellie had created a fancy rope harness for Sylvia, which she was wearing with pride over her clothes. It was getting hot in the house so I started things off by stripping down to my boxer shorts. Noah followed suit and Sylvia slipped off her pants to show us some bruises on her legs from her last kinky casual encounter.

We started cuddling on the living-room futon, tickling and caressing each other when Ellie got a call from a client around 6:00am.

Noah appeared to be falling asleep slowly, and excited from a long night of making out I seized the opportunity to make-out with Sylvia. Ellie kept walking from room to room, touching us as we lay in each others arms on the futon. She gave us a knowing smile as she watched me pull Sylvia’s panties to the side revealing her slick, shaved pussy.

I could hear Ellie on her call, “I’m unzipping and slipping off my skirt, now.”. True to her word I could see from my upside-down vantage point her skirt hitting the floor. I turned my attention back to Sylvia as Ellie left the room again saying, “You’ve been a very bad boy, so I’m going to have to teach you..” she trailed off as the moaning from Sylvia filled the room and woke Noah.

Ellie’s call ended and she climbed onto he futon on the other side of Noah. She started running her hands over the bulge in his boxers while he and Sylvia kissed and I fingered her wet slit. Only a moment later it became apparent that a “full” sized futon wasn’t quite big enough for four.

After a moment of deliberation I picked up Sylvia and whisked her off to our king-sized bed. A moment later Ellie and Noah arrived together. We lined up on the bed, Sylvia, Noah, Ellie, and myself.

At this point we split into couples for the most part, Sylvia was straddling Noah while he fingered her from underneath. Ellie and I were doing the same with our positions reversed. For many minutes the room was filled with moans and gasps and the sound of soft wet pussies fingered to orgasm.

Ellie and I were rubbing Noah’s ass and getting off hard watching their naked bodies grinding. I took off Ellie’s panties and felt the wetness that had soaked through the crotch. She grabbed me by the hips and forced me to enter her in one strong swift motion.

Looking across the bed at so many attractive bodies, and still thinking about my intense make-out session I felt myself coming close to orgasm. I slid my cock out of her and came all over her stomach while our wide-eyed partners gasped in ecstasy.

I continued to touch Ellie’s pussy as Sylvia and Noah’s fingering came to a fevered-pitch. With a trio of beautiful high-pitched moans Sylvia rolled off of Noah, panting.

I know how long it’s been..

Ellie and I are having the time of our lives together. I love her more than words (although I love trying to find the right ones anyway.)

Our sex life has been wonderful together and we have had so many new experiences that it’s hard to find a place to start. So, to make sure I get off on the right foot I’m just going to give a quick update.

Many of the friendships and relationships that we’ve been involved in over the last several months have grown, changed, or fallen apart for various reasons. We’ve made a lot of new friends that I’ll introduce as it becomes appropriate.

We had a bad experience which was entirely my fault from late December until the middle of January. I was seeing a girl that wasn’t respectful of my relationship with Ellie and I was very slow to break it off. This provoked a lot of jealous feelings and frustration. By the end of January we were back on track with our relationship.

Near the beginning of March I began hanging out with Lily. We have a relationship based on hanging out, making out, and playing Guitar Hero. Ellie and Lily get along pretty well and have a decent amount in common. I’m still looking forward to the day I’ll be involved in a FMF threesome; it would be a nice start to see them making out.

We hang out with Sylvia on a pretty regular basis and enjoy her company. She’s in the midst of a grand personal experiment right now and we’re happy to be in her support group.

—

I have a hundred stories rampaging through my head, waiting to spill out onto the screen. However, we have a vacation coming up tomorrow that I must get ready for. So, I’ll be saving them until I get some free time back at home to share with all of you.

Thank you for your patience and kind words of encouragement.

Over the last few weeks Ellie and I have truly been experimenting with Polyamory. It is a fact that our relationship, from the start, was “open”, but until very recently we had not ventured outside of “casual sex” territory.

Our first casual sex experience was with a local friend. It was a first for both of us to have a threesome. He was an average build man with a nice body, more athletic than us. Ellie was the center of attention that night.

After many hours of sex, when we were all worn out, we moved (mostly naked) to the living room to play Mario Cart for an hour or so before we called it a night.

The next threesome was similar, Ellie was again the center of attention, but this time I mostly sat it out and watched them fuck. Ellie liked the intimacy this provided and had an easier time getting off.

A few months later Ellie and I made separate dates. I made a date with a girl, Brigid. We got to engage in a lot of the dating rituals, although they were compacted due to time constraints. We held hands and had a lot of physical contact before moving on to making out (which we did for a few hours).

Ellie’s date was mentioned on her site, and the details will not be repeated here.

After all of this we knew that we were comfortable enough with the situation between us to move on to dating other people. Even after this realization it took a number of months for us to start.

Recently, I have been dating three women, but until I become better acquainted with them they will remain nameless.

Ellie has been seeing a like number of men, and has mentioned that she would love to write about them sometime (when the inspiration strikes, one would guess).

That is just a synopsis of the myriad of baby-steps we took to come to the point that we are at now. Our relationship is stronger than ever, we are very much in love with one another, and the energy that these relationships are bringing into our domain is extraordinary.

Expect to hear more from both of us about these relationships as time passes. We are certainly looking forward to the coming adventures.